Well, we made it through another holiday season — not to mention another DECADE of life on this planet.
High fives, all around!
As I was scrolling yesterday, everyone's "year in review" posts on social media got me thinking... before we close the door on 2019, lets cherry pick a snag from this past year and dig in. Because... why not?
Specifically: What's the one piece of feedback someone gave you in 2019 that really upset you... not because they're a jerk, or because they don't understand you. I'm talking about the feedback that you heard, reacted to harshly, and yet you know deep down... is right. This could have been at a holiday party, or it could have been 8 months ago. Really give it some thought.
You don't have to say it out loud. You don't have to tell anyone else or — gasp — admit it to the person that they were right. (Phew!) Just hold it in your mind, and bear with me...
Rather than go into emotion about the situation as it happened because that doesn't matter, let's pick this one piece of constructive criticism up and examine it from a neutral perspective.
First: If the truth will set us free, then why do we get so triggered sometimes when we hear it?
If you ask me? I think it's because the truth requires us to change. Change is our only constant — to me, it's the definition of life and the only true requirement of us as humans.
But the fact is: Change can be hard.
It's so much easier to stay the same! Sure, our health might suffer. Our relationships might suffer. Our quality of life might suffer.
But hey! It's easy! Remember Easy Street? There's a whole song about it... that's the path we should want to walk. Right?
It should be called Challenge Avenue, because that's life. Forever. And ever. Never-ending challenges. And only through the challenges do we start to become accustomed to the challenges, and over time, the challenges aren't challenges at all — they are, in fact, EASY because we've redefined them as such! The only true way to Easy Street is through Challenge Avenue. No shortcuts.
Sit with that for a minute.
So from a neutral perspective, can you examine this feedback, and resolve to do something about it in 2020 to move closer to your own truth? And before you make an excuse (or five), let this sink in:
If not now, when?
Second: Can you have gratitude for this person?
This part is important. For me, finding gratitude for someone who initially triggered me by saying out loud what I can't say myself helps me reframe the situation — and the feedback.
This person in my life is 100% my husband, Sean. Isn't it always the people closest to us? In moments when he gives me the hard feedback that no one else will give, I'm really working on seeing immediate gratitude for having someone like that in my life. If no one gave me any feedback on my life and the way I live it, I'd lack perspective. I'd be wearing permanent, unintended blinders. Sure, it doesn't matter what other people think... but through the eyes of the people we trust and respect are the gaps we may not see ourselves.
From that space of gratitude and a reframe on the feedback itself, doesn't everything feel a tiny bit better? Consider really digging into the big goals for 2020.
Originally hailing from Wisconsin, Mollie is a cheesehead transplant to Northwest Montana, with degrees in Retail and Journalism from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Today, she lives off the grid, half the year in a Tiny House & half the year in a yurt — both of which she and her husband, Sean, built by hand. Nonprofit Executive Director by day, Mollie also owns and teaches at Yoga Hive — a chain of community yoga studios in the valley.