There's nothing like a good holiday party.
Getting together with people who create conversation by asking you the questions you hate being asked... over, and over, and over. Like the universe is beating you over the head with the topic that you LEAST want to talk about...
It doesn't matter what stage you're at in life, there's always those trigger questions that drive you crazy. On the outside? You're forcing a smile, nodding and giving superficial answers, meanwhile wishing you could go home, crawl under your covers and sleep for 12 hours. Holiday time is PRIME TIME for small talk like this.
Recently, a friend asked me how I deal with getting the "When are you having kids?" question constantly at holiday parties. I started to answer him, and then paused... I sat and really thought for a minute. I landed on this answer:
It totally depends on who I'm talking to!
And I'm not trying to cop out of the question. I really mean it — this is totally an opportunity to practice yoga off the mat. Each situation in which I get asked an awkward question requires something new of me. Each person is different, each moment is new.
So I ask myself (in my head): What is "the moment" asking of me?
Some people, I feel their genuine desire to try to connect (not realizing I don't want to be asked about my plans for having kids). I give a short answer and change the subject and spend time listening and laughing with them. I let it go because it doesn't matter.
Some people, I can tell they don't actually care what my answer is because they've made up their mind about me before I've answered. So I give a short answer, smile, and move on to talk to someone else. Then I let it go because it doesn't matter.
Other people, I realize that perhaps they have NO IDEA that there are more options that simply getting married, having babies, raising kids and retiring... even though that's a perfectly fine option too! So I explain that we've tried, it didn't pan out, so we keep buying dogs and are loving life being day-long parents to hundreds of kids with type 1 diabetes every year at Riding On Insulin camps. It works for us right now. And then after we close the conversation and move on, I let it go, because — you guessed it — it doesn't matter :-)
This is all we can do when we're living yoga — it's all we need to do. Ask ourselves: What is the moment asking of me?
From that space... that pause... we move through life with more ease and less frustration. And then at the end, we let go, we move on because at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. (Which is exactly what we're going to learn how to do in the 40-day Challenge this January.)
So mid-holiday 2-week extravaganza, lets all take a deep breath, yes?
Originally hailing from Wisconsin, Mollie is a cheesehead transplant to Northwest Montana, with degrees in Retail and Journalism from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Today, she lives off the grid, half the year in a Tiny House & half the year in a yurt — both of which she and her husband, Sean, built by hand. Nonprofit Executive Director by day, Mollie also owns and teaches at Yoga Hive — a chain of community yoga studios in the valley.